Purpose Driven Life

I have a confession to make.

I started this blog with an agenda...I intended for it to get Larry Gamboa's attention. I wanted to earn his approval so that he would want me to join his and Trace's mentoring program.

But now I find that my path has changed.

I really think reading his book was instrumental in making me realize how I've been living like a zombie, reacting mechanically and unwilling to pursue wealth that is easily in my grasp. It made me realize that I still haven't reached my full potential. I had a deep desire to improve and learn, which I thought will be best achieved by having my inspiration as my mentor.

These past weeks though, I searched my soul and tried to see God's hand in the plans I've been making. You know what I discovered? I realized that we're not put on this earth to simply get whatever we can. The winner of the race isn't the one who is richest or most powerful, or the most admired. Instead, I needed to answer this question: Am I achieving my purpose in life?

When I felt satisfied that my office supplies business was doing okay, not great but just okay, it was because I wanted to have flexible hours to better take care of my ailing father. He would call and ask me to join his bedside and I would be there in a jiffy. Was I achieving my main purpose then? Yes, I was.

When I closed down the company and stopped working altogether to enjoy my long awaited pregnancy, and subsequently chose to take care of my own son instead of relying on hired help, was I achieving my main purpose then? Yes, I was.

When Tommy graduated and needed financial support while he started his practice and studied for the boards, and I chose to accept a mediocre job in Rockford to help ease his worries, was I achieving my purpose still? Yes, I believe I was.

So what is my purpose now? How does everything stick together? The answer came when God awakened in me a deep yearning, deeper than my desire to get rich. I want to give away money that will support those who are doing His work.

You see, I freely give my talents to the Lord. I serve by singing in the choir and I tell my editor in Kerygma not to send me payment when I submit my stories for the Catholic magazine. But when the basket comes near me during offertory (which is not often since I sit in the choir pew), I have to force myself to drop that P100 or P500 bill that I know in my heart is not enough. Like what my husband said, masakit talaga pakawalan yung pera. And that's what God wants to perfect in me.

Yes, I know I'm going to get rich. I already foresee God's blessings in that regard. But more than that, I also foresee what God's purpose is for all the riches He will bestow on me. Just wait and see.